October 1863

Saturday. Down the street. Saw Mr. Peake. Introduced me to Capt. Carr, Chief Quartermaster. Could not give me a place. Working on my machines. Today Mrs. Adamson was taken with the Rheumatism. [2]

October 18, 1863

October 19, 1863

October 20, 1863

In school. Egan had an oyster supper. Invited. Federal harness makers & Irish girls [were] there. I stayed till nine. Danced with a lovely Irish lass – Mrs. Sullivan – magnificent bosom &c.

October 27, 1863

October 28, 1863

October 29, 1863

Last night, Mrs. Johnson sat up with Mrs. [Sarah] Adamson. About eleven o’clock, she was taken worse and called me. Her hands and legs were cold as ice. I thought that she would die. This morning [she was] about the same. I ran all over town [looking] for brandy [and] finally bought whiskey – one pint for $2.50. Mrs. Adamson [is] getting worse every hour. Night, called me in the room. Her hands were icy cold. She said she “had called me to thank me for my kindness to her all the time I had been with her. Remember the greatest thing, remember thy creator in the day of thy youth, cling to Him, as I know you have heretofore. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven.” She told Sonia that my board had been paid up to the first of October. She will die well. She dies the death of a Christian. There is no fear, no terror, no anxiety, perfectly calm. Oh God, grant that I may so live that I may deserve to enter into Heaven with the Saints. I do not think Mrs. Adamson will live out the night. Today, Louisa’s children [3] were quarreling with Sophie because they thought that she was to have this house. It would be no more than right that she should have it.

October 30, 1863

Thursday. This morning, about five minutes after seven, Mrs. [Sarah] Adamson breathed her last. The last she spoke was about two in the morning when she told Emily, a servant, to be a Christian and meet her in heaven. She died easily and calmly. There is no appearance of pain written on the features of her face. She died the death of a Christian with a firm trust of joy and peace hereafter. When I asked her last night how she felt, she said, “I am weak, I am prostrated, but I shall be raised up.” The dear good woman is gone. Her troubles are over. She has entered upon life eternal. Oh God, grant that I may remember her last words to me and always to remember the Lord. Dear lady, may I never forget the good lessons you have taught me. May I always remember you with kindness and so live that I may meet you in the abode of eternal happiness and joy.

It was rainy all night & all the forenoon. I saw Mr. Kearns, the grave digger, got the coffin, and saw to the printing of the funeral tickets. Busy all day. Had a long talk with Mrs. [Eliza] Dodge. Mrs. Adamson made a will and the house & lot is to be a parsonage for the Presbyterian Church. Dr. Dodge has charge of it. I do not know what I shall do for a boarding place. Mick Egan says I can board with his sister but I will not like that. Saw Mr. Peake, a Doctor in the army who is a graduate of the Geneva Medical College. I do not believe that I can get a place in government. Well, if I cannot, I must submit to my fate resignedly. Oh God, help me. Make me a better Christian. May I trust in & rely more fully on thy goodness & mercy.

October 31, 1863

Down the street. Saw to getting carriages, etc. Funeral at 10. Quite a good number out. Only three carriages. No men but Presbyterians, with the exception of Mr. [B. A.] Knighton & Martin’s clerk. Had a talk with Louisa [Adamson]. Mrs. Adamson left this house to the Presbyterian church. It will cause dissatisfaction among the heirs. Mrs. Adamson, while she was Miss Carter, lived in this house and taught school. And from what the servants say, had but little – no table to eat at, and they doubt even if she had a chair. She would stand up at a cupboard to eat. She had not paid for the house completely. Mr. Adamson paid [for it after they were married]. She must have suffered a good deal of trouble, &c. to live, saving to pay for a home for herself, working hard [all the while] at school teaching, toiling and toiling. [She must have] denied herself a great many enjoyments. I pity her in those times. She was old when she came here & when she married, she was upwards of forty. She was, I think, an orphan from Pennsylvania. She has passed from a multitude of trials to her rest. Though I have felt provoked sometimes at her conduct to me, yet I reproach myself for the thought. Sometimes I think she might have charged me less for board since I had tried to do so much for her, & since she let Henry Moore off so well, when he was making more than I. It has all passed now. Let it drop.

While she was sick and after I had done something for her, she said she would not charge me any board & then the last time I saw her she said my board had been paid up to the first of October. I do not know what I am to do. This breakup has upset me. I have been here so long. It seems like home. I am anxious to get a place to board at, but it seems as if it was impossible to get a place. Louisa [Adamson] wants me to stay here until they get all the things away. Dr. Dodge has the will and he says that we must get out soon as the Federals want it. He brought that up the morning she died & he must have been scheming to rent it before she died. He is bound to let it go to the church. Mrs. Adamson wished to change [the will], but the Dr. said it was too late to change it. It was best to have it that way. She wanted Mr. and Mrs. [B. A.] Knighton to come here for ten years & take charge of Sophie & Louis. I don’t know whether Dr. Dodge will give us time to get out.

[1] Rev. Ebenezer S. Peake was the chaplain in the 28th Wisconsin Regiment. Goodrich mentions in a subsequent diary entry that Peake was a graduate of the Medical College in Geneva, New York. According to the Butler Center for Arkansas Studies in Little Rock, Arkansas, which houses a collection of his manuscripts, Peake was appointed the refugee agent for Little Rock in the fall of 1864.

[2] The last sentence in this diary entry appears to have been added later, as if to document from memory the first symptoms of Sarah Adamson’s failing health – which would soon prove mortal.

[3] Louisa Adamson’s children included 10 year-old John, 8 year-old Sarah [“Sallie”], and 3 year-old Franklin.

The Diaries of Ralph Leland Goodrich, 1859-1867

October 1863

October 1, 1863

October 2, 1863

October 3, 1863

October 4, 1863

October 5, 1863

October 6, 1863

October 7, 1863

October 8, 1863

October 9, 1863

October 10, 1863

October 11, 1863

October 12, 1863

October 13, 1863

October 14, 1863

October 15, 1863

October 16, 1863

October 17, 1863