wjgriffing@comcast.net

Day-by-day October 1869 Calendar

This series of letters were written in October 1869 during a fall vacation in which Augusta took her four children to Owego, New York, to visit their grandmothers and other friends and relatives. John and Willie were relatively healthy throughout the trip, but first Mary, and then Sarah suffered severe illnesses. Mary eventually recovered after a relapse, but Sarah died of Typhoid Fever on October 21st. Sarah's death was so sudden that it was impossible for Augusta to notify James in sufficient time for him to come east before her death or funeral. In fact, it is likely that he did not learn of her death until his arrival in Owego several days after her funeral.

John, Mary, & Will Griffing, ca. 1868

Owego [New York]
October 1, 1869

My dear James,

Yesterday I received yours mailed September 24th containing one to Willie & Mary. They were both pleased to get them. [Our daughter] Mary is still in bed but I am most encouraged today to think she will get well. She had fever only about four hours today – much shorter than any day yet. But she is very weak & pale when the fever is gone. She wanted me to write a letter to you for her when she found I was going to write. She does not tease to eat things we do not want her to as she did before & when she gets better will be more careful I think. I have felt very anxious & worried about her & then beside all that have fretted (to myself) about the Doctor bill. Her last sickness was $13 & this will be as much or more. But it could not be avoided as I see.

[Our] boys [John & Will] came here yesterday much pleased with their visit at Mr. [Asa] Brook’s. He was not at home – went to attend a Sunday school convention at Binghamton. All were well.

There have been two light frosts here, but not enough to hurt much. If it is cold there, I wish you would take in my plants – the geraniums & dew plant & moss. There is a geranium on the large bed that was doing nicely. And please save plenty of seeds of all kinds. [My brother] Steve wants some surprise oats. Are they to be had there? Just a few. Mr. Light promised to send him some but did not. If you have to go there, maybe you can get some of him.

I shall have to give up starting home yet awhile. Miss Bates says Mary will not be fit to travel for a while yet. I shall go just as soon as she is able. How does the old cow get along? Mary is very anxious to get well & go and see her papa. – Augusta

Owego [New York]
October 3, 1869

My dear James,

It is Sunday evening and all are sitting around the table reading. [Our daughter] Mary is slowly improving. Miss Bates left medicine today to last until Tuesday. I let her sit up this forenoon a little while in a rocking chair by the fire & her pulse increased ten beats and if she sits up in bed and laughs & talks it will increase from ten to fifteen beats, but will go back to the natural number after she lays down & is quiet. Miss Bates says keep her in bed yet awhile. She is safer there. She had no real fever today, only that increase of pulse. I do hope she can get along now without any more back sets. Poor child. She has been sick so much since we came. She is very patient.

It has been a rainy Sunday. No going to church. But it stopped awhile & they went to Sunday school down here. Mrs. Reed, Mrs. Mosher’s daughter, called here tonight. They live at a place called Eckland about twelve miles from Addison. She is here on a visit.

Your letter with one to Ma came yesterday, also the Topeka papers. The Lawrence Journal comes about once or twice a month – four numbers have come since I came. I would stop it. Somebody is to blame.

Chestnuts are beginning to ripen. The boys gathered some yesterday. [My brother] Steve has commenced digging potatoes. Some of his Clinton’s are nearly as large as that sweet potato you sent. I never saw nicer.

Monday – The boys are going over [to Owego] with a few chestnuts to sell, so I will send this. Goodbye. Hope you will be well. – Augusta

Owego [New York]
October 8, 1869

My dear James,

Yesterday was the day I had set to start for home, but [our daughter] Mary’s being sick has prevented and I do not know how soon we can start. She is not able to sit up scarcely any & does not gain strength. She is lively & cheerful and wants to talk a great deal & have her playthings on the bed & would play with them all the time but it makes her pulse rise whenever she does it. And we try not to have her do anything but keep quiet, which is so hard. The quick pulse is in the place of fever and any little indiscretion would bring on fever. I am just as careful of her as I can possibly be, but I do not think she is any better, if as strong as she was Monday. If the children go in the room where she is, she wants to talk & play so I have to keep them out the most of the time. Her appetite is very good else she would be much weaker. The Doctor wants her to eat beef. I have given her a great deal of beef tea. She takes it but dislikes it. She has been sick nearly all the time we have been here. She has not been like herself since she had the measles. She wonders who cooks papa’s dinners and often talks of you.

[My sister] Sarah went over this forenoon & brought your mother over to spend the day. She has been having a diarrhea lately & is miserable. She is lame too and can scarcely get around. It was very hard work for her to get out & in the carriage & she is afraid to ride. She looked badly & has failed so much since we were here before.

Ann – John [Kelly’s] wife – has sold her home and went into the Millenary business & lost some. She is now keeping boarders in Brooklyn I think. [My sister] Mary Horton & [her daughter] Fanny came up awhile today. Mary is not very well at present.

There have been heavy rains and the railroad east of here is badly damaged & no mail from the east since Monday.

Miss Bates said yesterday if I was ready to go it would not be very safe at present on account of the damage done. I hope I can write in my next that [our daughter] Mary is a good deal better. I have not been to Newfield & do not know as I can go. It will be a disappointment if I do not, but Mary’s being sick I cannot go about any. The rest of the children are well.

How are you getting along? I wish it was so we could back [to Kansas]. I know you are getting tired out living alone. I shall go just as soon as it will be safe to travel with Mary. Miss Bates has made eleven visits this last time & charges $1.25 a visit. She comes now every other day. She told me when she was taken that it would be very difficult to bring her out of it – that a relapse was so very bad. It worries me so much. I hope this will find you well. – Augusta

Owego [New York]
October 11, 1869

My dear James,

Your letter to [my brother] Stephen was received Saturday with the order all safe. I was surprised you had not then hear of [our daughter] Mary’s sickness. It is strange the letters are so long going. I know you will be disappointed that we were not able to start as we expected, and so was I. And I do not know when we can go. Mary improves so slowly. Miss Bates says it has run into a low nervous fever, not dangerous, but needs time & patience to care. She improved remarkably fast in the first attack after she began to mend, but being weak to begin with fever again, it has left her in this way. She does not have real fever now, but every day her pulse rises from 85 to 95 & 100 or over. 85 is the natural pulse. Whatever she does increases it – if she talks too much (& her tongue would run all the time if we did not check it) or plays with her playthings, or looks at pictures. We try to have her lie quietly but it is almost impossible. I hold her & she has set up in a rocking chair but the latter makes her pulse beat faster. Miss Bates says she will get over it as she gains strength. She is very anxious to get well & go & see papa. She asked the other day who cooked papa’s dinner now [that] we were away. I don’t see how you get along but I do hope you won’t get sick. I wish I could tell you when we would start. I told Miss Bates I wanted to write about the time I would go. She said tell him not to look until he sees you. I shall go just as soon as will be safe for her to travel – that is, if nothing else prevents.

[My brother] Stephen wants to use money & Ma is going to let him take it [so] if you have it, please send it along.

The [railroad] cars are not running on this road regularly yet. It would have been a bad time for me to start last week. It was just after a great freshet doing much damage to the road – mostly east.

And so Mr. [George B.] Dusinberre [your college classmate] called on you. Did you recognize him? I sent a [Owego] Gazette to you last week. Will send the [Owego] Times when I can get one. All are usually well, excepting Maty.

Don’t forget my plants – also the Madiera vine if there is going to be much of a freeze. Have you saved flower seeds? I was in hopes to be home to do these things, but cannot which is quite a trial. [With] Mary being sick so much, I have visited very little. Still I know I ought to be at home and feel impatient to be there.

Steve has bought you a pair of boots so do not get any. How are your clothes getting along? I know they begin to need stitches. Good night. Remember me to inquirers. Ever your affectionate, -- Augusta

Wednesday – I did not send this yesterday but we received two letters from you to Ma – one containing the two drafts. So the three fifties have come. Mary is gaining slowly. She has not had regular ague. It has been a great deal worse than that. I think the measles started it & she might have been worse if we had staid at home. The rest having those boils has saved them from other sickness & Mary had none. It would have been better if she had. Miss Bates says with measles she always gives physis as it is breaking up to carry off the impurities & that saves those having boils or other sickness. Ma says you ought to tell your housekeeper to wash her dishes right away after meals.

Owego [New York]
Friday, October 15, 1869

My dear James,

I sent a letter to you a few days ago saying [our daughter] Mary was slowly gaining. She is still gaining and doing very well. The great trouble is from her appetite now. She has not been dressed yet. Miss Bates said today if she kept getting better she might be dressed a little while Sunday. Mary is getting better, but [our] dear little Sadie is quite sick. She was some fretful Tuesday & Wednesday afternoon. She had fever come on & it has not left her since. Miss Bates says she is a sick child – sicker than Mary has been. There has been no remission of fever yet which is very high, so she cannot tell whether it is Bilious remittent like Mary’s or whether it will be Typhoid. She complains of her head and bowels. Mary said her head did not ache any of the time. We thought it was Mary’s eating that brought hers on, but we have been very careful of Sadie & she has worn shoes & stockings for weeks & not been in the cold & damp. I will write again soon. I have to be with her all the time. I feel so discouraged but I do hope the rest of us will not get sick. Ever your affectionate, -- Augusta

I had begun again to think about getting ready to start for home, but now will have to give that up for the present.

[Owego, New York]
Sunday Evening, October 17, 1869

My dear James,

Ma has written to you today telling how sick little Sadie is. Poor little darling. She is very sick – fever very high, pulse from 120 to 140 all the time. She complains of her head & bowels & suffers a good deal. She has been very good about taking medicine but tonight she does not want to take it at all [and] wants cold water so often. She is somewhat flighty at times. I asked her today whose pet she was. She said Papa’s & Mama’s. She has spoken of you a number of times since she was taken & said I must write to Papa that she was sick. I don’t know what will be done if any of the rest get sick. Miss Bates said today I would be very likely to have it [too] but I hope not, and shall use every precaution that I can. But [Sadie] don’t like to have anyone do anything for her but [my sister] Sarah & I – generally me.

[My sister] Sarah is not well – has more to do than she is able. Oh, if I only could have seen the end from the beginning, I would never have come. My pleasure is all spoiled. The visit that I expected to enjoy so much has turned out so differently. Mary’s [illness] was bilious remittent & Sadie’s is Typhoid & so different.

Monday morning. Sadie is no better. Fever just as high. All she wants is real, real, real cold water. I will send a few lines everyday or two.

North Lawrence [Kansas]
Monday, October 18, 1869

My Dear Cutie [Augusta] & All,

Two letters came today – one postmarked the 9th and the other the 13th – the first I have received since the morning of the 7th day you were to have started. I am sorry about [our daughter] Mary’s protracted sickness. My not hearing anything [during] the past week and my daily visit to the [railroad] cars being in vain, the reception of the letters today relieved me in a measure from my anxieties for I was ready to imagine a great many things about you & the children. With regard to the increased beating of Mary’s pulse, I think it’s no more than what any person would do [who is] required to be still & who is weak. I believe judicious exercise would do her good whilst a continuation of doctoring and no exercise will keep her always an invalid. I sometimes think to let nature have its way & less doctoring the better than too much. Besides I don’t believe that persons there know how to manage the fevers to which persons having lived west are subject to. It seems to me if Dr. Horn had her care in hand, he would have her on her feet in less than three days. I may be harsh in my judgement but I have sometimes thought some doctors would just as soon patients would linger along for weeks, especially if it would furnish an excuse for them to keep up their visits. At all events dear, I want you to use your own judgement in the matter and give me your opinion about her. I would as soon have it as what “Miss Bates says.” And yet it is possible that if I knew all the facts in the case I would feel & think differently. The best I could wish however is that long before this gets there, you & the children will all have reached home safe & sound. I was in hopes you would have come through whilst it is moonlight nights & warm weather. I shall continue to go to the depot daily with all interest hoping soon to see you.

Our Quarterly Meeting took place yesterday & day before. Brother Clock, agent for Baldwin University, was present & preached twice. He is one of the oddities & the person who can sit & hear him through without laughing must draw on the pucker strings of their mouth harder than I could.

I have traded one calf for 6 bushels of winter apples and I want, if I get a good chance, to buy about half a dozen bushels more. We shall have about 6 bushels of sweet potatoes, nearly a bushel of popcorn, about 50 cabbages & more Irish potatoes than we can use. Mrs. Higbee will take the cabbage & make them into “sauerkraut” if you think best. The cattle have got to breaking into the garden nights & I will have to do something with them. Give Papa’s love to his sick darling & a kiss for all of them. I remain as ever your affectionate husband, brother & son, -- J. S. Griffing 

[North Lawrence, Kansas]
Tuesday Morning, October 19, 1869

It is snowing this morning and the snow is already an inch or two deep. It seems to be just what we need to set the farmers to digging their potatoes & taking care of vegetation generally although it will be hard for many hundreds not prepared for such weather. I should be right glad to know how & where you are this morning. I know I should feel a great deal more comfortable should you judge it necessary to remain there on [our daughter] Mary’s account. You need give yourself no uneasiness about me. With the exception of a cold, I have got along very well and as I have succeeded so well in the past, I have hope that I may succeed as well in the future should you be obliged to remain. Please write often that I may know just how you are getting along. The mails are very irregular & some letters are about as long again as others coming through.

I shall watch closely the different trains in hopes to see you all soon. Please burn up the first part of this letter after you read it. Perhaps I ought not to have written it but it was just the expression of a naughty feeling I seemed to have. It is my prayer that the good Lord may watch over & keep you all & that you may be returned home in safety. With the best wishes I shall ever remain yours truly, -- J. S. Griffing

The [Owego] Gazette came.

North Lawrence [Kansas]
Thursday, October 21, 1869

My Dear Cutie [Augusta],

Yours of the 15th reached me today. I was truly sorry to hear of [our daughter] Seddie’s sickness knowing that you must begin to feel the need of rest and relief from care rather than multiplied care. I hope her illness will not be a tedious one & that before this reaches you she will have recovered. At any rate, be careful & not make yourself sick. It would be better to hire someone for a time to assist you rather than to unfit yourself by over doing. Besides it will be far better for the children for you to keep well. I would be glad if it was so that I could share the burden with you, but circumstances seem to forbid it. And then to hear my darlings sick so long & know nothing about it for so long a time. Your letter of the 9th & 12th both came the same day. I had been to the depot regular everyday from the time you expected to be at home & your not coming caused me to imagine ten thousand things about you until your letters came to my relief. If the children are to be sick, it is much better to be where you can give them good care than to be on the road without. You could have got to Brother Curtis’ & I should have been sorry to have them sick there. It is quite a tax upon our folks but I hope they will be repaid in some way for all their trouble & care. I hope the boys will behave & help their Grandma & Uncle Stephen. If anything should occur that would lead you or mother to think either of the children would not live, send a Telegraphic dispatch. I would (Providence favoring) come immediately on. I hope, however, that in Seddie’s case it will not prove so tedious, but that the next will say that she is around again & you [are] fixing to start [home].

The County Fair is in session this week. I have not been over yet but think of going tomorrow. I expect there will be a fine exhibition of fruit. Brother Akers folks built an addition to their house & are keeping boarders. Several new buildings have gone up in North Lawrence since you left. Mrs. Scott, Mr. Higbee’s daughter, is at home with the ague. I keep well and getting along as usual. Don’t trouble about me. I would be glad to see you all, but will wait patiently, hoping & praying that you may be spared to return before long. With love to all & kisses for the children with a hug for my sick darlings. I remain as ever, yours most truly, -- J. S. Griffing

N. B. What do you want me to do with the cabbages?  Tell mother I have not as yet heard from my agent appointed to collect Mr. Light’s note. It may be somewhat slow pay but I think he will collect it if anybody & if not right away the interest will go on. – James

Owego [New York]
Friday morning, October 22, 1869

My dear James,

Our little pet Sadie has left us. She died last night at ten o’clock. She had been sick little over a week with Typhoid fever. Ma & I have written two or three times but yesterday morning [my brother] Stephen telegraphed to you saying she was very low and asked if you could come on. We expected an answer yesterday but none came & I fear you did not get it. She will have to be buried tomorrow (Saturday) & probably at two o’clock. Oh how I wish you were here. I could bear it better. I cannot help but think if I had staid at home perhaps she would have lived. Sarah said before she was sick she did not think I could raise her. Since her boils stopped coming she began to get fleshy & looked better than she ever did, but Miss Bates says those boils used up her vital powers [and] she had not strength to bear the disease. I wish I had telegraphed to you when she was first taken but I thought she would get well. I knew she was very sick but I thought she would have such good care she surely would get well. But she had not strength to rally.

Ma and [my sister] Sarah are well. [Our daughter] Mary is getting along very well but does not go out of these warm rooms yet. I shall go home as soon as Mary can travel, if none of the rest of [us] get sick. – Augusta

Western Union Telegram Sent October 21, 1869
"Sadie may not live the day out. answer. come or not."

[North Lawrence, Kansas]
Sunday, October 24, 1869

My Dear Cutie [Augusta],

Am just home from church. I did not get any word from you Friday or Saturday & have been full of anxiety since you wrote about Seddie’s sickness. I hope she is better & must think such is the case or you certainly would have written. I do hope I shall get more favorable news in the next letter. The darling little sufferer. How papa would like to hold her for a while. And is Mary getting stronger? And how is your own health? You must be nearly worn out.

We have been having some very cold weather here for a few days back. Last night the ice froze nearly an inch in the tub at the corner of the house. I have got the house banked and the heating stove up in the parlor, but as yet a very small woodpile. Wood is selling over in town at 8 dollars a cord & coal at 40 cents a bushel. Many thousands of bushels of apples have frozen on the trees in Missouri. What a pity when we needed them so much here. The consequences are that yesterday apples went up to $1.50 and will probably be $2.00 soon. I managed to get six bushels for the calf of good winter apples and was calculating to get some more but I guess I shall hardly now.

Morning. It has been very cold during the night & the ground is frozen to quite a depth. A great many potatoes have undoubtedly frozen in the ground. Soon as the ground thaws, I must go at mine & try & take care of them. Has the weather been as cold there?

Now Cutie, write often & let me know just how the children are getting along. Tell me truly and frankly what you think I had better do about coming out after you if it is necessary & I can be of service. I want to do just as I should. My services are needed here & the means necessary are something that I ought not to use now unless necessity demands. [Yet] in such a case, I shall not hesitate. My prayer is that the precious ones may recover & that your own health may be preserved & that we may see each other ‘ere long & enjoy the blessings of the family circle. Please write often & ever believe me your affectionate husband, -- J. S. Griffing

Monday after mail.

My Dearest. Yours & Ma’s letters have come in today’s mail. Am sorry to hear about Seddie. I hope to hear from you again tomorrow & if the news is no more favorable, shall take the next train east, Providence favoring. May the Lord bless & sustain you, -- James

North Lawrence [Kansas]
October 26, 1869

My Dearest [Augusta],

I did not know anything of the telegram until yesterday after getting yours & Ma’s last letters. I suspected it possible you may have sent a dispatch & so I went over to the office and behold, there it was. The boy who delivers the dispatches had made inquiry of some few on the street about me and not hearing or they not knowing where I lived, cruelly gave up the search. Soon as I found out I telegraphed back when the telegram was received and asked if it was too late. As yet, (half past eight next morning) no answer. Providence permitting, shall take the train today and come on soon as steam will carry me. If our little dove has gone, let us not murmur. She has flown to the blessed abode where there will be no more sickness or pain. Where Jesus who loved her far better than we did has taken her forever to dwell. I hope your own health will keep good & our other darling will recover & the other children keep well. The Lord bless you all. Yours, -- James

Owego [New York]
October 28, 1869

My dear James,

I suppose before this reaches you, you will have heard of [our] dear little pet Sadie’s death. Oh, it seems impossible that it can be so, that I must see her somewhere or hear her voice. I am so sorry that I did not telegraph to you as soon as she was taken [ill], but I had no idea but she would live. The Doctor Bates have been so successful with fevers and Mary had got along well the first time, & we were taking such good care of her I thought she would surely live, although they said from the first that she was very sick – sicker when first taken than Mary had been at any time. But she was so bright & pleasant. I did not think she would die until at night Wednesday. I began to fear she might not live & early Thursday morn I sent you word by telegraph, & if you had received it when you should & had answered you would come, we should have put her in ice & kept her until you came. It seems so hard not to have you with her & to see her at all. And she so often talked about going to see Papa & what she was going to take him & how glad he would be to see us. But I do not wish her back. I cannot help grieving for her, but I feel as if I had one lamb safe. She was such a dear little affectionate thing, clinging so closely to me that it was hard to give her up. And then we have no good picture of her. I was intending if I had money to have some taken of them all as soon as Mary got well.

Mary is gaining but has not been out yet. If none of the rest are sick, I shall start soon as I can. Not next week as they say it will not be safe yet. They have all expected I would have the same fever, but have been taking medicine all the time to guard against it. But I have not felt well since she died. And [my sister] Sarah or Ma are neither very well. I feel better than I did as I rest & my nerves get more quiet.

Your telegram was received Tuesday – too late, too late.

I would like some of the cabbages buried & I do not care what you do with the rest. If the green tomatoes are not hurt, put some in the cellar for chopped pickle when I get home. – Augusta

Sarah Augusta Clarissa Griffing's Gravestone in Tioga Cemetery
(a.k.a. Seddie, Sadie, or "pet")

wjgriffing@comcast.net